When my son was born, the first night we spent at home, I was up most of the night terrified about the inconsequential slant to the bassinet mattress. I was thoroughly convinced that he was going to roll onto his stomach in the middle of the night, as a 4-day old, and suffocate himself. This was a complete and utter joke of a thought, but at the time I was this close to getting out a construction leveler and straight up shaving off portions of the mattress until it was at an exact zero degree slant. I think I have a tendency to dwell on things that don’t actually matter, and when I suddenly had a 4-day old I actually legit slipped into a short-term insanity that took me about a year to come out of. In short, nobody should have babies ever, because things would be so much easier and we’d all be so much better adjusted.