Much of CUPS is biographical, but this part is kind of not. My wife and I freaked out a little bit, but I don’t recall ever having like real breakdowns where either of us was truly panicked. Maybe Lester is just my fears and worries that I mostly keep locked up inside. Maybe Norah is that as well. Maybe this is a fictional comic and you shouldn’t read too deeply into it and mind your own damn business.
When my son was born, the first night we spent at home, I was up most of the night terrified about the inconsequential slant to the bassinet mattress. I was thoroughly convinced that he was going to roll onto his stomach in the middle of the night, as a 4-day old, and suffocate himself. This was a complete and utter joke of a thought, but at the time I was this close to getting out a construction leveler and straight up shaving off portions of the mattress until it was at an exact zero degree slant. I think I have a tendency to dwell on things that don’t actually matter, and when I suddenly had a 4-day old I actually legit slipped into a short-term insanity that took me about a year to come out of. In short, nobody should have babies ever, because things would be so much easier and we’d all be so much better adjusted.
Welcome to a series of strips were two people panic about having a baby. I hope I’m appealing to a sizable enough group of people, seeing as like a billion people have children every year, and God knows how many of them freak out about it.
CUPS stadium will from here on out be referred to ‘Dr. Pepper Stadium at CUPS confines‘, and we’ll all be wearing ‘Comcast’ patches on our left sleeves. The post-game show will no longer be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight‘, but instead will be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight, delivered by Dominos Pizza‘. Also, if you’ve got the chance, do your best to work Coors Light into any post-game interviews. I mean, it’s not vital, but with Coors Light being the official beer of CUPS, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to try and kick ’em a little bit of extra exposure when we can. Rick ‘Taco Bell’ McNamara OUT.
My favorite rallying cry for the last several years at work has been ‘well, whatever, I know it’s frustrating/difficult/confusing, but it’s comforting if you think about just how useless this whole project/issue is, and that someday we’re all going to die and none of this will matter’. For a while I thought that my co-workers thought this was funny, so I kept saying it. More recently, though, I have come realize that people probably don’t see this as humorous, but I keep saying it anyway, because now I think that I believe this viewpoint on life to be true.
