Cats’re just not interested in art unless it’s got a beat and you can dance to it everybody knows that.
Remember that ICONIC scene in Superbad when Michael Cera’s character is walking in step with Becca, the girl he likes, down the hall after securing a date to a party and instead of just casually walking with her he walks super fast ahead of her and causes this unnecessary awkward situation? Well, this comic is exactly like that scene, but instead of walking quickly away from the person Dennis is attempting to disappear. Also important to note that I’m not implying that Dennis has a secret crush on Sarge. BUT I AM ALSO NOT SAYING THAT HE DOES NOT.
‘Real World Magic’ includes, but is not limited to:
- Being able to wake up right before the alarm goes off in the morning
- Finding money on the street, but when nobody’s around, meaning that you can guilt-free keep the money because there’s no way you could ever find who lost it and return it.
- Hitting all the green lights when you’re running late to work.
CUPS stadium will from here on out be referred to ‘Dr. Pepper Stadium at CUPS confines‘, and we’ll all be wearing ‘Comcast’ patches on our left sleeves. The post-game show will no longer be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight‘, but instead will be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight, delivered by Dominos Pizza‘. Also, if you’ve got the chance, do your best to work Coors Light into any post-game interviews. I mean, it’s not vital, but with Coors Light being the official beer of CUPS, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to try and kick ’em a little bit of extra exposure when we can. Rick ‘Taco Bell’ McNamara OUT.
There’s something refreshing about all-out rejection over fake excuses. I went out on a date with this girl back in college, and while it wasn’t the best date ever, it was fine enough… Fine enough for both parties to at least consider another date a possibility, so I thought. But then the end of the date came and I said something like ‘so let’s do this again’ to which she responded ‘No’. I think more words had to have been said after them, but hell if I remember what happened after that metaphorical bitch slap to my ego. I got over it super quick, though… She could have said something that was more vague and less-to-the-point, but instead she just ripped the band-aid off. Good for you, girl that I don’t remember even at all except for that one little anecdote.