Ah, yes. OK. Now we’ve had the two storylines sync up. You may have wondered what was going on when we so awkwardly jumped from the storyline about adults playing in a neighborhood ping-pong based game into a super heavy storyline about a husband and wife about to have a baby. This was the plan all along. But not like ‘this was the plan all along’ in a LOST sort of way, more like ‘this was the plan all along’ in a Breaking Bad sort of way.
Anytime you’re sitting in the car, and you’re having a one-sided conversation with your spouse while they’re silent, they’re thinking about your future burial. This is always true.
I always wonder how doctors keep it together. I mean, I would imagine that the bulk of the time the things they see they’ve seen a hundred times before. ‘Oh, what is that, a large bunion? Yea, you’ll be fine.’ But doctors are just regular people, too. So, they sometimes will see something and you just know deep down they’re going ‘Oh shit, this is some crazy leaky eye’ or whatever. I feel like at my job as a simple graphic designer, there are no less than like 5 times a week when I find myself saying ‘OMG this thing is cray’, and I only say that over simple file formatting issues. I’d just be the worst doctor. I’m pretty sure I could handle all the medical stuff, the hours, the stress of dealing with death… But I’d just be awful holding my tongue at some of the really crazy gross medical stuff.
My last name is Morrison, which means that when we were going to have a baby, the first name Morris was 100% completely and fully off the table in a way that no other name could possibly be. My roommate in college took a class by a guy named Jake Jacobs, which I always thought was about the craziest name I’d ever heard of. Neither the first name or last name is bad of course, but if your last name is Jacobs, before you even think about names at all, don’t you take Jacob out of the name running? I just can’t really understand the reasoning. Do parents go ‘well, we could spend a lot of time trying to come up with a different first name, but we’re really busy today, and these DVR’ed tv shows ain’t gonna watch themselves’? This will forever be a mystery to me.
