Sarge Archives - Page 7 of 13

CUPS 58: Good Morrow

Remember that ICONIC scene in Superbad when Michael Cera’s character is walking in step with Becca, the girl he likes, down the hall after securing a date to a party and instead of just casually walking with her he walks super fast ahead of her and causes this unnecessary awkward situation? Well, this comic is exactly like that scene, but instead of walking quickly away from the person Dennis is attempting to disappear. Also important to note that I’m not implying that Dennis has a secret crush on Sarge. BUT I AM ALSO NOT SAYING THAT HE DOES NOT.

CUPS 57: Super Cool

‘Real World Magic’ includes, but is not limited to:

Being able to wake up right before the alarm goes off in the morning
Finding money on the street, but when nobody’s around, meaning that you can guilt-free keep the money because there’s no way you could ever find who lost it and return it.
Hitting all the green lights when you’re running late to work.
Telekinesis

CUPS 56: Dennis

In this comic, Dennis is clearly inflating the importance of everyone’s jobs by simply making it sound more important with big, magical words. But isn’t that really what we all do every day? Maybe you listed your work experience in high-falutin’ lingo on your resume. Maybe your dating profile pic is six years old and in perfect lighting that can never be re-created. What I’m saying is that we all do this. Perhaps, instead of mocking Dennis for making himself sound more important than he is, we should all be looking inwards. Look, true self-improvement cannot start until we all accept that we are, deep down, very flawed ourselves. You see, “Dennis” is simply a metaphor for ourselves. Next week in CUPS: more brilliant insights.

CUPS 55: Cup & Sorcerers

The Eggplant — upscale diner specializing in unconventional breakfast dishes like sweet potato waffles, wine and cheese omelettes, and gluten-free breakfast sandwiches.

Screw Head — a Christian book club that concentrates on modern day literature aimed towards those with celibate lifestyles.

Tomorrow’s Regrets —low-to-middle quality strip club, though many claim their steak tar-tar is the best you can find in the area.

Pink Ocelot — dive-y bar with some solid drink specials after 9 pm, but really is known for their illegal sports betting operation based out of the side room. Password to get in is ‘oligarchy’

XXX Bottle — just a thing Sarge saw while walking around downtown.

In case you were wondering.

CUPS 54: What To Do Now

Hello, yes, 911? I’d like to file a report? There’s some guy loudly talking to himself outside my house… Um, no, he doesn’t appear to be dangerous, but he’s… It’s loud, you know? It’s really weird. Like, who does that? He’s more or less performing a internal monologue externally, as if he’s in some sort of a Shakespeare performance or something like that. Using old English, as well. Oh, actually, you know what? It is a play. I forgot. They’re doing Shakespeare in the park tonight, and my house is adjacent to the local park. That explains the large audience sitting there as well. Sheesh, 911, is my face red. Go ahead and carry on with your evening!