Instead of beer pong or cornhole during tailgating festivities, Blood Pineapple fans like to play ‘stab the dude and then hide him in the woods so that local authorities can’t find him, at least not until the end of the Blood Pineapple concert’. It’s probably not going to catch on with non-Blood Pineapple fans, but they like that sort of thing just fine, thank you very much.
Lester’s made a habit of weirding Sarge out in the car.
Trash Salad was really awesome back in the day. Their first album, Destructification, was, for lack of a better word, a masterpiece. Their followup, Skin Pockets, while not nearly as on-point, was still a steady and totally fine followup. But once they introduced Sexual Peeling everything went off the rails. Their lead guitarist Rexxx started dating Khloe Kardashian, there was the whole public urination scandal… They really got away from their roots. Some may say they’ve sold out. I wouldn’t say that, because I wouldn’t want to infer creative laziness on someone I don’t even know, but… It’s pretty clear that they’re not the same band, unfortunately.
For future reference: When you’re going to go to a metal concert while your pregnant wife stays at home and catches up on some work all night, just go ahead and leave a note on the counter. It’s not worth the fear of God that it will instill of you for the rest of your days.
What Sarge cuts Lester off from saying, interestingly, is that ‘Blood Pineapple’ is this really great band that does this thing where they are a really terrible band. Lester should speak in a less meandering, more direct way, because every time he gets cut off he misrepresents what he’s talking about. Like the time that he asked Norah to marry him, and he was all ‘hey, I have this thing on my foot. It’s not, like, you know, that concerning or anything, but… I don’t know, it’s been there a while. Just long enough for me to start worrying about it in the very back of my consciousness. I think I’m going to have it checked out. It doesn’t hurt per se, but I would say that it’s fairly uncomfortable most of the time. It’s also just kind of displeasing to look at. Not that I should be concerned with the aesthetics of this thing on my foot, but… Anyway, will you do me the honor?’
I don’t know, man, if I was in this very specific situation playing this game and it gave me unbelievably apt information regarding my life right this second, no matter how good or bad the advice was I think I’d freak out and start looking for cameras in my house.
