Do you know about day/night confusion? Because when the baby’s in the womb, it’s most active at night, when the mother’s sleeping. So, during the day, when the mother is walking around and doing stuff, the baby sleeps due to the calming nature of being swayed around for hours. But then, come nighttime, and the mother goes to sleep, it’s baby’s party time. Thus, when the baby comes out, for the first several days they’re on the literal opposite schedule they’re supposed to be for life. It’s just another thing that makes babies seem like Nature’s Murder Weapon.
‘Spending Time Together As A Family’ is code for ‘Learning To Co-Exist With A Creature Hell-Bent On Destroying Us From The Inside Out Through Destruction Of Our Brain Through Exhaustion’. Also, ‘Shop’ is code for ‘Ice Cream Store’, and ‘Work’ is code for ‘Eating Ice Cream’.
My wife and I had a fairly easy path with regards to names for our son, but I was always very taken aback by how every single name you can imagine has an association tied to it. I’d say something like ‘what do you think about Carson’ and she’d say ‘no, I’m sorry, Carson is the name of a guy I went to college with who was a little handsy and smelled like peanut butter’, and she’d say something like ‘how do you feel about Garrison’ and I’d be all ‘no thank you, Garrison sounds a little bit too much like a man between the ages of 75 and 85 who speaks too often and too passionately about the Civil Rights Movement but on the wrong side’. It’s helpful, in the fact that it’s easy to parse down names to get to the one you want, but man you also realize just how many people have names you hate.