CUPS Archives - Page 23 of 26

CUPS 20: Dirk Frost: Ski Cop

Coming up tonight, on CBS — at 8:00, Frost and the Ski Patrol need to catch the perpetrator in a quadruple homicide. Armed only with a gut feeling and loose forensics implication, Frost is led off ski trail to a the hideout of noted drug kingpin Esteban Cabrera. What he finds is more than he could ever had expected. At 9:00 is America’s most watched new comedy, Mr. Edinson, about a farmer and his son, Davis, who switches places with the family horse, ironically named Mr. Ed. Hilarity ensues. At 9:30, You’ve seen Two Broke Girls, now get ready for the spin off series Three Broke Girls. Join Jessie, Jessie 2 and Bianca as they try to navigate through New York City on less than 17 dollars a day for reasons unclear. CBS — America’s Most Watched Station for some reason.

CUPS 19: Cat Anus

If you own a cat, and you don’t think seriously about sitting anywhere that cat has been, then you’re either super chill or just not realizing how little there is between the end of these creatures’ digestive systems and the rest of the world. I’m uncomfortable just thinking about how many things in my apartment my cats’ anuses have touched. Because the reality is that it’s probably everything.

CUPS 18: 3.4 KDR

This is the section of the storyline where we see all the characters’ couches. Rita’s couch is obviously the nicest. You can tell, because eggplant is a super classy color for a couch. Rita has impeccable taste.

CUPS 17: 6:45pm

Man, not sleeping is the worst thing. Have you ever just gotten back from a road trip, or had coffee too late in the day, or just torched some lines of cocaine and just not been able to sleep? I repeat, it is the absolute worst. When I was a young kid I had issues with anxiety. Not absurdly so, but I was a nervous little kid like I think a lot of little kids are nervous little kids. When I wouldn’t be able to sleep, though, that’s when I was the most anxious. If I wasn’t to sleep by a certain time I’d get anxious, and that would wake me up more and it would just be my own private hell, as far as that sort of thing goes for like 11-year old nervous kids.

CUPS 16: Claire

I have never completely forgotten someone that I dated. I do feel like this would be hard to do, unless you either date a tremendous amount of people or are aggressively rude. What I have done is completely forgotten about people that I used to be fringe friends with, or people that I basically grew up with, going to the same classes for upwards of 10 years. I know this borders on me sounding like a straight-up jerk, but I’m sure I also act as the forgotten in other’s minds also, so it’s whatevs. Like, I went to a party back in my hometown two years after I graduated high school, and I ended up talking to this girl who I knew that I was supposed to know and I couldn’t remember her name or anything about her. In writing this out I’m realizing, rather alarmingly, that this may be more a symptom of a memory issue than anything else.