CUPS Archives - Page 17 of 26

CUPS 50: Opening Night

CUPS stadium will from here on out be referred to ‘Dr. Pepper Stadium at CUPS confines‘, and we’ll all be wearing ‘Comcast’ patches on our left sleeves. The post-game show will no longer be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight‘, but instead will be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight, delivered by Dominos Pizza‘. Also, if you’ve got the chance, do your best to work Coors Light into any post-game interviews. I mean, it’s not vital, but with Coors Light being the official beer of CUPS, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to try and kick ’em a little bit of extra exposure when we can. Rick ‘Taco Bell’ McNamara OUT.

CUPS 49: Hangoverpocalypse

My favorite rallying cry for the last several years at work has been ‘well, whatever, I know it’s frustrating/difficult/confusing, but it’s comforting if you think about just how useless this whole project/issue is, and that someday we’re all going to die and none of this will matter’. For a while I thought that my co-workers thought this was funny, so I kept saying it. More recently, though, I have come realize that people probably don’t see this as humorous, but I keep saying it anyway, because now I think that I believe this viewpoint on life to be true.

CUPS 48: Cat Café

There’s something refreshing about all-out rejection over fake excuses. I went out on a date with this girl back in college, and while it wasn’t the best date ever, it was fine enough… Fine enough for both parties to at least consider another date a possibility, so I thought. But then the end of the date came and I said something like ‘so let’s do this again’ to which she responded ‘No’. I think more words had to have been said after them, but hell if I remember what happened after that metaphorical bitch slap to my ego. I got over it super quick, though… She could have said something that was more vague and less-to-the-point, but instead she just ripped the band-aid off. Good for you, girl that I don’t remember even at all except for that one little anecdote.

CUPS 47: Leonidas

Any drug dealer should understand the concept of supply and demand. You supply me with an answer for why you’ve been galavanting around at night as a high-level drug dealer for the last several months because I demand it.

CUPS 46: Obedience School

Oh, wait, this is a cat disobedience school? I was wondering why I saw so many signs labeled ‘Project Chaos’ and all those Che Guavera pamphlets. Plus all the kitty on kitty violence. No, no, it’s cool, I’ll let myself out.