Every single second of writing the dialogue to this comic I was running through theoretical chases in Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit circa 2002 in my mind, because I am an adult and I still think about games I played almost fifteen years ago.
Character: Rita
CUPS 62: What’re We Saying?
She’s also not saying anything about the high levels of nosiness currently going on at the table, in case anyone else at this table was wondering about that.
CUPS 61: Get Serious
It’s like, dude, you’ve literally been standing in line at Isthmus of Bagel for eight minutes and you haven’t realized this, hot damn you’re going to struggle with being a parent.
CUPS 54: What To Do Now
Hello, yes, 911? I’d like to file a report? There’s some guy loudly talking to himself outside my house… Um, no, he doesn’t appear to be dangerous, but he’s… It’s loud, you know? It’s really weird. Like, who does that? He’s more or less performing a internal monologue externally, as if he’s in some sort of a Shakespeare performance or something like that. Using old English, as well. Oh, actually, you know what? It is a play. I forgot. They’re doing Shakespeare in the park tonight, and my house is adjacent to the local park. That explains the large audience sitting there as well. Sheesh, 911, is my face red. Go ahead and carry on with your evening!
CUPS 50: Opening Night
CUPS stadium will from here on out be referred to ‘Dr. Pepper Stadium at CUPS confines‘, and we’ll all be wearing ‘Comcast’ patches on our left sleeves. The post-game show will no longer be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight‘, but instead will be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight, delivered by Dominos Pizza‘. Also, if you’ve got the chance, do your best to work Coors Light into any post-game interviews. I mean, it’s not vital, but with Coors Light being the official beer of CUPS, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to try and kick ’em a little bit of extra exposure when we can. Rick ‘Taco Bell’ McNamara OUT.
