When my son was born, the first night we spent at home, I was up most of the night terrified about the inconsequential slant to the bassinet mattress. I was thoroughly convinced that he was going to roll onto his stomach in the middle of the night, as a 4-day old, and suffocate himself. This was a complete and utter joke of a thought, but at the time I was this close to getting out a construction leveler and straight up shaving off portions of the mattress until it was at an exact zero degree slant. I think I have a tendency to dwell on things that don’t actually matter, and when I suddenly had a 4-day old I actually legit slipped into a short-term insanity that took me about a year to come out of. In short, nobody should have babies ever, because things would be so much easier and we’d all be so much better adjusted.
Other upcoming CUPS PSAs include: Why all of the characters have noses that cast enormous shadows, and how Mr. Morrison is blatantly ripping off FoxTrot® style ears, but we’re all pretending he’s not.
True story: Natalie Imbruglia came out with a new album like a month before I drew this strip, unbeknownst to me. I think the ‘Natalie Imbruglia as a very random but also very recognizable one-hit icon from twenty years ago’ joke is still pretty legitimate, even despite that fact.. Natty Im’s new joint somewhat may have blown the cover off of my quaint little joke, but… Shout out to Natalie Imbruglia anyway. Keep doing your thing, girl.
Man, not sleeping is the worst thing. Have you ever just gotten back from a road trip, or had coffee too late in the day, or just torched some lines of cocaine and just not been able to sleep? I repeat, it is the absolute worst. When I was a young kid I had issues with anxiety. Not absurdly so, but I was a nervous little kid like I think a lot of little kids are nervous little kids. When I wouldn’t be able to sleep, though, that’s when I was the most anxious. If I wasn’t to sleep by a certain time I’d get anxious, and that would wake me up more and it would just be my own private hell, as far as that sort of thing goes for like 11-year old nervous kids.
Ah, yes. OK. Now we’ve had the two storylines sync up. You may have wondered what was going on when we so awkwardly jumped from the storyline about adults playing in a neighborhood ping-pong based game into a super heavy storyline about a husband and wife about to have a baby. This was the plan all along. But not like ‘this was the plan all along’ in a LOST sort of way, more like ‘this was the plan all along’ in a Breaking Bad sort of way.